The 2020 Word of the Year

My 2020 word of the year is......

drum roll please.....

CONTENT

Peaceful happiness. Being grateful for what you have and where you are currently. 

Sounds easy, right? But this is extremely hard for me. The taking stock and feeling ok where I am. I am a type a, overachiever which pairs awfully with anxiety. I struggle with the idea of just being ok. The idea of not currently chasing a complex goal. To me being content means being complacent. Lazy. Boring. And what have we learned about me when I’m not actively doing something?! Debbie Depression sets in. And she tells me I’m not good enough. I’m not hustling enough. That only losers relax. Or worse....bad things happen when you let your guard down and relax. Like...someone dies. Yes, my therapist and I are fully aware that is one hell of a leap to make. That if I don’t stay busy, someone will die, but depression/anxiety DGAF and doesn’t operate on logic. 

Being born in 1989 means that 2020 is not only the start of a new decade in general, but it’s literally the start of a new decade of my life. My 30’s. For this decade instead of focusing on growth I want to focus on being content. Being fulfilled by where I am right now in this life. I accomplished a lot in my 20’s and I’m proud of the woman I’ve become. Right now it’s time to sit back and reap her benefits. This doesn’t mean that growth won’t come. It will, but it won’t be my focus. I’m aiming to be present, be okay resting, be content. 

How do I plan on doing this? Ha. I’m hoping you can provide a few suggestions. I’d like to try meditation and get back into a workout routine. Both of those are about being present in the exact moment you’re doing them in. 

Content. *Deep meditative breath* I can do this! Right?

Happy New Year, everyone! May your 2020 be filled with only the best vibes!

xoxoxxx,

Rashida